Yes you,Mr.Too-busy-talking-on-my-cell-to avoid-pedestrians.
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Today, White Lexus SUV, the full-size "Living Room" Edition, brand new by the look of it, but you did have a plate (that's good, read on to discover why!)
15th and Mission around 1pm. I was on the Northeast side waiting to cross Mission. You were so busy running that red light and babbling on your phone, ( by the way, the cameras got you) that you nearly ran me down; it almost looked like you swerved to hit me, but I'll be generous and credit that to your lack of interest in your surroundings while you were paying $20/hr for phone sex or something equally absorbing.
I quickly stepped backwards onto the sidewalk but not quickly enough to avoid your hitting my...
No, wait; this gets even better :)
The brush went along the length of the entire vehicle on the passenger side; a big broad 4" racing stripe. I did not do this intentionally; it was all I could do to avoid you hitting me; you swerved at least two feet in my direction whilst trying to re-position the phone under between your shoulder and your thick head. Too bad you didn't catch my other hand with the half-gallon pail in it, but that was further out of the way.
Come to think of it, too bad you managed to recover; you'd have looked pretty funny stuck in the back of the parked UPS truck that you barely managed to avoid.
So now, you may be wondering, how easy will this new modification be to remove from your lovely new SUV, and what color is it?
How easy will dried latex or enamel come off my lovely new vehicle, or for that matter, what color is my new racing stripe?? Can't be too hard, especially with latex, right? ...It, er, WAS latex, right?
Well Sparky, your new stripe, it's a sort of shiny steel color with a crinkly finish. "My goodness", you may exclaim, "what kind of paint makes a steel color with a crinkly finish?".
Well, not exactly paint, it was actually paint stripper :)
Jasco marine paint stripper, to be quite specific, which probably lifted your lustrous new white sparkley finish within 20 seconds.
As I said, by the time you read this it will be too late.
It was already too late when you nearly ran the next light at Mish and 16th.
Sometimes my belief in some higher, more just power is affirmed.
I mention all this in CL in the hopes you read it and realize that nobody 'vandalized' your vehicle but you.
Because now you need a whole new paint job and a couple hundred for the red light ticket. And you probably need a karma mechanic.
Happy motoring, jackass.
And thank you, Jasco Chemical Corporation of Santa Ana CA! I have successfully used your excellent products for many years now, but never with the sublime sense of transcendental joy and absolute delight that accompanies a near-death experience combined with a job well done!
this is in or around Instant 'Carma' gonna get you